1. |
Rose
04:11
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All the houses were small
It’s like they never cared at all
Nobody ever stood that tall
Nobody ever wandered through
The grounds at nightfall
Take your time If you want
They walk ahead and you catch up
Just clear the bridge before it’s dark
You’re going to fade if you get caught
You keep your name you go home
You’re no bouquet, you’re just a rose
Nobody here knows who we are
Sad to say the same as where you’re from
Wake up little girl
Your people need a hero, not some maid
We’ll help you clean it all up when you’re done
We’ll help you when your hands are tied in pain
Suddenly I see why I’d be easy to replace
A simple way to exist today: keep the troubled ones away
They are crazy, crazy, everyone is crazy
Lazy, maybe, everyone’s so lazy but you
Shut it down if you’re out
Nobody’s gonna judge when you get down
Sometimes you gotta sleep it off for a week
Sometimes it takes a year or two after all you’re human
Suddenly I see why it’s so easy to replace
The simple way to resist today: keep the troubled ones away
They are crazy, crazy, everyone is crazy
Lazy, maybe, everyone’s so lazy
You keep your name you go home
You’re no bouquet, you’re just a rose
Nobody here knows who you are
Sad to say the same as where you’re from
All the houses were small
Honestly I’ve never cared at all
Nobody ever stood so tall
Nobody said they’ll help you when you’re done
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2. |
Survive
03:54
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You woke me up to talk ninety words out loud
My heart raced through the hall at 3:00
And I can’t sleep at all
So I think about the small detail
Of everything I cannot actually change
You keep me awake
Counting my age
What are you saying?
You’re counting the days
Lines on my face
Why are you staying?
I’m pretty sure that I’m dying
And I’ve never not survived
We’re pretty sure that I’m dying
And I’ve never not survived
My chest pulled tight enough to choke me out of light
I haven’t been outside in weeks
I’m not missing out cause
I’m awake for every inside joke
I’d rather not have known if I could sleep
But you keep me awake
Counting my age
What are you saying?
You’re counting the days
The lines on my face
Why are you staying?
Surely it’s normal but I’m unprepared
As all of my functions are under repair
Showing your colleagues how well you can act
But to breathe in the dark is just too much to ask
I’m pretty sure that I’m dying
It’s everyday since I got here
I’m pretty sure that I’m dying
And I’ve never not survived
We’re pretty sure that I’m dying
And I’ve never not survived
You bad fever
You steal all my water
Garden variety
Cancer of the home
Unremarkable demon
Average low light ceiling
Conditional love
Excusable behavior
You bad believer
You turn me into boredom
A quiet lobby
You’re why I work from home
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3. |
Value
04:29
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You started to spiral out
The ground’s just a circle in a decaying orbit
You tried just to idle awhile
Thought if you sat still
You’ll blend with the forest, well you don’t
Noted another loss
Well don’t feel bad, I mean, if you can help it
You learn how to document
Like bad weather patterns
And I guess you can call it
“Progress of a kind”
Not everybody takes this long
I can’t un-see it but man can you believe that we’re here
There’s always a try again
Well don’t be upset when repeating a formative year
Doing the same thing for years
Repeating the formative years
I try to settle down
I fake my death, had no one believe it
I fight with the neighbor’s kid
I ran over his bike
“Well don’t park it behind my van”
I became a frail black bird
My chest started burning
I could die if you squeeze me too long
I almost got away it
Starting to deal with the problem
So I guess you can call it
“Progress of a kind”
Not everybody takes this long
I can’t un-see it but man can you believe that we’re here
There’s always a try again
Well don’t be upset when repeating a formative year
Doing the same thing for years
Repeating the formative years
Watch you in the morning come to life again
Watch you in the evening fall apart the same
Anemic numbers ruling over you and me
It’s the reason you refer to them as holding value
They don’t
It’s unkind how often you’re required to replay
Your light, snuffed out, on fire, doused again
Somehow you reignite and I’m impressed
Not everybody takes this long
I can’t un-see it but man can you believe that we’re here
There’s always a try again
Well don’t be upset when repeating a formative year
Watch you in the morning come to life
Watch you in the evening fall apart again
Anemic numbers ruling over you
It’s the reason you refer to them as holding value
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4. |
God Damn
03:17
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What confusing faith
Or have you always been this way?
If your tradition make you ill
Then do not call it will
An excessive trait
I didn’t find you in this way
So I proclaim there’s so much more
And nothing that you’ve spoke’s been said before
Something so wrecked can give you hope
Tell me that it’s not already safe to say
I can’t watch you move away
I’m on fire in all my dreams
When I’m awake I feel the same
You kiss my head
I wake up and bloom in red
You look beautiful and cold
And I know a weaker way to keep me warm
Something so wrecked can give you hope
Tell me that you don’t already know
Tell me that you know already
You’re my truth
So volley well wishes to you
Or am I some suppressive person
Or are you my inversion
Look now you gotta know
I always have a point and you just have to trust me
Don’t overcomplicate
We are not in line, you just have to love me
It’s ok to feel this way
Everything’s a scene
You and I can casually walk away from everything
No more running
I god damn love you
A failed repress
I can’t shake away your best
I felt love and nothing else
The void without is a charmless rung out bell
Something so wrecked can give you hope
Tell me that you don’t already know
Tell me that you know already
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5. |
Self Repair
03:18
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Your view was an understatement
You’re just a kid in a family basement
Dirty tricks up your clean white sleeves
30 years till you knew what color you’d bleed
And didn’t know what to do
You don’t
I didn’t know what to do
You don’t
You look like you’re feeling clever
Innate cover up behavior
Run fast from the small detail
And move past the ones that make you feel
I know you think it’s insane
You’re ok with everything
You’re lying and nothing about you is safe
It’s hard to say when you’re not
It’s ok we’ve all been caught crying
It’s ok to be up front
For sure you didn’t know my story
Self repair is mostly boring
Something’s wrong and I want to fight
30 years and now I know I wasn’t right
And didn’t know what to do
You don’t
I didn’t know what to do
You don’t
I know you think it’s insane
You’re ok with everything
You’re lying and nothing about you is safe
It’s hard to say when you’re not
It’s ok we’ve all been caught crying
It’s ok to be up front
But hey why so mad?
If you say these things to me, that’s fine
But the rest of them, they’ll take you alive if they want
You don’t understand
You don’t know not anything
And I’ve loved more than you have breathed
And you can’t quantify a single thing
I know you think it’s insane
You’re ok with everything
You’re lying and nothing about you is safe
It’s hard to say when you’re not
It’s ok we’ve all been caught crying
It’s ok to be up front
It’s ok we’ve all been caught
Ok to be upfront
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6. |
Archives
02:55
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A fine jumping off point
Alone in the desert
Barking at mirrors again
Once thought you a habit
Religious or not
It seems pretty clear you’ve been made
Watch you in action
You were the smart one
Me, I’m an archive of fear
Space on a shelf
With pages unworn
And I’m sitting closer to you every year
I feel above it
Swim in your privilege
I found you’re the one that I love
And then I sink
Beautiful people they die just like you every year
I wonder where you come from
I’m so anxious you’re just numb
I could wait here
I’ll just wait here
You’re my jumping off point
Alone in the desert
Biting my nails ‘til they bleed
Once found in a habit
All that I learned
I can quit anything I don’t drink
Look for you at my station
You were the smartest
And I haven’t archived each year
Space on that shelf
And the pages untouched
And I’m sitting closer to you every year
I feel beneath it
Swim in your privilege
I find you’re the one that I love
And then I think
Beautiful people they die just like you every week
I wonder where you come from
I’m so anxious you’re just numb
I could wait here
I’ll just wait here
If they don’t have much to say
At least they should know your name
An awkward moment’s scar
At best they can know where you are
Still I wonder where you come from
I’m so anxious you’re just calm
I could wait here
I’ll just wait here
Not much left to say
If anything the least they can do is know your name
It’s awkward enough at the start
At best they can know where we are
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7. |
First Contact
04:22
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I remember first contact
Was found in a bad way
Woke up in a forest
In a bed of branches and leaves
Confused over nothing
You don’t have to be this way
Most stay in the dark room
I’d rather be clean
The first time I felt it
We could be poor and happy
And if the first should change
I’d rather give it away
Finally a real routine
And I don’t want to ever leave
Shake all the hate away
And I can be me any day
I remember the conflict
It’s ok to push away
It’s all a part of the content
There’s not much you can erase
Finally a real routine
And I don’t want to ever leave
Shake all the hate away
And I can be me any day
And I can be you any day
Dig your feet enough to stand your ground
I can feel each one of us around
Sweet relief of leaving your hometown
Sole regret is coming to this now
Finally a real routine
And I don’t want to ever leave
Shake all the hate away
And I can be me any day
And I can be you any day
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8. |
Namesake
03:53
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I’m still pacing past the locked room
Mistook your hat up on the coat rack for you
Thought for sure you’d come home early
To be clear I’ve never understood a word that you said
It’s fine till you arrive
‘Til then I’d rather die
Sleeping in the window
I’d rather be cold
I’d don’t want to miss you come home
You always make it back
Each time a little worn
And I don’t want to leave it
I’m tired of the feeling
You won’t believe how I sleep or how I don’t
I spent the night inside your sweatshirt
It made me warm I thought the heat would bring you back
But I just slept
It’s fine till you arrive
‘Til then I’d rather die
Sleeping in the window
I’d rather be cold
I’d don’t want to miss you come home
You always make it back
Each time a little worn
And I don’t want to leave it
I’m tired of the feeling
You won’t believe how I sleep or why it’s
Every time the door is shut
Every household noise is us
And all the different floor board creaks
Sound out every vowel of our name
Everyone still talks to me
Like I can ever reciprocate
How am I supposed to be
Flattered when they’re kind to me
When all I am is your namesake
You leave behind like an old nickname
I’d like to think that it’s all the same
The usual business and that’s just our end game
Not all of us are kind enough
To wait around while you find yourself again
I’m fine when you arrive
‘Til then I guess alive
Sleeping in the window
I’d rather be cold
I’d don’t want to miss you come home
You always make it back
Each time a little worn out
And I don’t want to leave it
I’m tired of the feeling
You won’t believe how I sleep or how I don’t
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9. |
However Long
02:53
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I hear you speak and it form a statue
Now I’m stuck in your memory
Then I stutter and it makes me feel bad
It’s forever in the photograph
Then I see you and I can’t remember
Were you the winner in the dream last night?
Am I the corner of your silver lining?
I’m just a knot in the same necklace again
Holding fast for you
Can’t get you out of my head
Everything I hear is you instead
However long it’s gonna be
I can guarantee I’m gonna miss you
Miss You
How many times have I said I need you
Just a few in a quiet room
I’m pretty sure that no one ever heard me
Still you shake like you hear me think
I try to find you in a busy hallway
Your cached candle in the windowsill
I’m self-possessed but you break my focus
You are clearly the end of my loneliest streak
However long it’s gonna be
I can guarantee I’m gonna miss you
Miss You
I fast for you
Don’t ever leave my head
Anything I hear is you instead
However long it’s gonna be
I can guarantee I’m gonna miss you
Miss you
However long it’s gonna be
I can always guarantee I’m gonna miss you
I miss you
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10. |
Trip
03:04
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Look at me
I think I’ve always known your face in some way
I’ll admit
I’ll tell you what’s the deal
But someone stays behind to clean it up
Am I really in your way?
Is someone really in my place?
I can’t see
How you can choose for me to live just that long
All you say
Is I’m the kind of guy who turns the lights off
Look away
All the crosstalk is telling you you’ve always been the one
And I’m really in your way?
Is someone really in my place?
Am I really in your way?
I’m just saying I’m fine to die
But only if it gets you to my wake
Amazing that you knew me
I was born too fucking late
I can love like anyone who can communicate
But not for much longer
It’s not what you need from me
And I know I’m in the way
Or someone else is in my way
Someone else is in my place
Someone else is at my wake
Someone else is in my place
Someone else is my way
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